i am constantly making mistakes and usually get so down on myself. i often wonder how i even pick myself up and move forward. usually a long cry is in the mix, followed by a self loathing trip to mcdonald’s. i used to buy a new plant, now it’s sneakers or a fun kitchen gadget. i wish i could pick up my old knitting projects (i used to make so many beautiful knitted chokers for that “business” i was “starting”), but that would mean i’d have to organize the brown room filled with my crafts and skfl’s comic books. maybe this fall. brown room, brown leaves, the need for warm knitted items. i’ll think about that for a while (aka put it off until i have to locate those iron on transfers).

there are so many things i want to do. so many things i keep thinking of, while revisiting that list of things i’m putting off. it seems that most of my time is spent worrying about what i’m not doing instead of actually doing something. how does that happen? how do you break through that? tonight i think i figured out a way. instead of focusing on myself, i went to work on a new recipe. i even wrote out the process first in my new little pocket journal (as it turns out a notebook with a little bit of bling is very inspiring).

unfortunately i forgot to write down the working name and it’s long gone (a glass of wine and a road trip to the ice cream stand is to thank for that). i think it was something corny like ‘quitters revenge’. yeah, i know. here are the ingredients (in no particular order):

- swiss chard – lemon juice – lemon zest – crushed red pepper – garlic scapes – garlic – vidalia onion – white wine – vegetable stock – parmigiano reggiano – orecchiette – olive oil – butter – sea salt – crushed black pepper

i think a tomato would have made a lovely addition, as well as a few chickpeas. the process is pretty standard. sauté the scapes, onion and garlic in the butter and olive oil. then add the wine, lemon juice and stock. cook that down, add the lemon zest. meanwhile, blanch the swiss chard and cook the pasta. bring it all together and add the cheese and you’ve got a meal.

luckily it was really delicious and boosted my confidence a bit. now if i could just figure out the measurements and then test it out with the tomatoes and chickpeas.  oh, and nail down that name.